I’ve been thinking a lot about love lately. What loves means to me and what it means to other people. Is it possible to fall truly in love with more than one person in your life? What defines love?

I think I’ve only truly been in love once. I’ve had very strong feeling for other people, and thought at the time it was love, but Justin blew it all out of the water. So what is love to me?

Love is knowing you could never be truly happy again if you lost the person you love. Love is a sort of desperation. You give one person the absolute means and power to destroy you, but you not only trust that they won’t, you know they won’t. I hate to quote a fictional book, but Twilight really summed it up, that person is your own personal brand of heroin. Once you have it you will not give it up easily, or at all. You can live in ecstasy over it or die over it.

That’s what true love is to me. I would take a bullet for Justin and do absolutely anything for him without question.
Bree and I were discussing marriage and what fails about it the other night. They say divorce rate is really high now, and it’s true. About half of all marriages end in divorce. Why? I think it’s partly because of the woman’s lib movement (haha) in the past a woman really only had the option of getting married or being a bitter single woman who didn’t have any fun. And if they did get married and got cheated on or beaten it still wasn’t feasible to leave the man, she would have nowhere to go and no income or way to support herself, so she stayed. Now women are college educated, have jobs just as good or better than the men they’re with, and if they feel the marriage isn’t working out then leaving isn’t hard on them economically.

I knew fairly soon on that Justin was the one for me. One huge factor in our relationship was that it was a completely platonic relationship starting off. We both came out of bad relationships and turned to each other for comfort and venting purposes, and then it was like a floodgate opened. It was like something clicked between us that sparked a passion that was built upon that deep friendship we had already spent two years developing. I told Justin from the beginning that I fell in love with our friendship first, and I think that’s what is going to keep us going. We have that deep friendship connection that is the base of our relationship.

I don’t think I could every be happy without him, not knowing what we have. I know one day it’s a possibility that I might have to, but I truly pray to have a very long and happy life with him before one of us has to say goodbye.