I’ve found another song to be obsessed with. John Mellencamp – Cherry Bomb
Thats when a smoke was a smoke
And groovin’ was groovin’
and dancin’ meant everything
We were young and we were improvin’
laughin’ laughin’ with our friends
Holding hands meant somethin’ baby
Outside the club cherry bomb
Where our hearts were really thumpin’

Seriously, awesome beat, it just talks about being young and carefree.

In other news, congrats to Bree, my first close friend to graduate from college! Not me though, I into me second week as a senior. It kind of sucks.

The first week started off slow enough. I don’t have class on Monday, and only one class on Tuesday. That class I drove there, he handed out the sylibus, and I drove back. What a waste of gas. Wednesday I don’t have class.

I really don’t mind school, I really don’t. I think in another life I would love this limbo I’m in right now. I would go out to parties and drink my 21st year into a vague blur. I might have pledged a sorority and made some really great friends, or not. I would hit the bar every night I did not have an 8am the next morning (actually, the 8am would just be an inconvenience) And I’d live happily ever after, or at least live 4 years, on grant money, raman noodles, and cheap beer. But I did not choose that life. Or maybe that life did not choose me.

I’ve always been the type of person to want to grow up faster than the speed life is going. I hate that I’m engaged to the most wonderful man in the world and cannot marry him for two more years. That really wears thin on my very little patience. I have no emotional attachments to Slippery Rock like some college grads do for their alma mater. I would be so happy to never step foot on Slippery Rock ground again.

I’ve been in the social work program for 2 years now, and my adviser has been switched four times. four times. That’s so infuriating I can’t even tell you. I haven’t had a one on one meeting with an adviser since I was a sophomore. I have been scheduling blind for two years and am at least a half semester behind where I should be. I will most likely be there another full year unless I can intern next summer, which would be great. I just want to move on. I also, for whatever reason, was talked into double-majoring in social work and criminology. Granted, the criminology B.A. will not take me much, if any, more time to complete along with the b.A. in social work. It’s kind of weird…I’ll have two Bachelor degrees! I’m hoping that will open up some doors, I haven’t really researched what all I can do with a B.A. in crim, but I’m crossing my fingers for some cushy government job. I wish there was a site, like Monster.com that you pop in all your qualifications and search available jobs that way, but I’m not having any luck. Any suggestions?
I am so sick of being at this point in my life. It’s killing me to be at such a different point of my life than Justin is. I want the 9-5 job that frees up my evenings and weekends. I’m sick of class in the morning, work at night, work on the weekends. I feel bad that Justin gave up his nice 9-5 just because my schedule is the exact opposite. He’ll be going back to daylight and I’m happy for him, but miserable I can’t find my own job for that.

I had a great bitchout with Tara the other day. I’m glad I’m not the only one who is getting jerked around, and I’m glad she was feeling the same way I am. I just feel like I’m so alone in this battle for my degree. It’s awful to feel this alone, and the person whose job it is to help you gets changed so much they don’t even know who you are. Who do you turn to then?


Manic is a great word. When I read or hear the word manic I picture some crazy spazz running around with jazz hands. That little guy is running laps around my head right now.

I’d like to go back to the point in time where my life took the turn that I need to keep a planner to keep my days straight. I have scratches and scribbles of all these plans and events and things I need to get done everywhere in my little book, and I’d like to know when my life hit manic status.

I’ve always been a planner. I have my life planned out years in advance, and it’s progressively getting worse as I get older. In 2009 I will graduate college with a shiny new bachelor’s degree in Social Work. Now, I really hate school. I hate it quite a bit, but I’m already thinking about what I want to get a Master’s degree in. I know I want to work with kids, so I think I’ll either continue with a Master’s in Social Work, or maybe counseling. I sometimes over plan too. I have expectations for myself and feel crushed when they’re not met.

I yi yi. I’m spent.

Dangerous curves ahead.