school


I’m blogging from my bed on my itouch. How’s that for a first?
I actually cannot stop thinking about the observation I did the other day at a drug and alcohol rehabilitation center for my social work methods class. I actually cannot tell you any details because it breaks a confidentiality code, but I can say this: it was life changing.

As I’m laying here in bed I litterally cannot sleep because I am so worked up about the field I have chosen. I can’t believe that changing my mind and major so much in college actually brought me here; the place I was meant to be the entire time.

I observed adolesents in a group therepy meeting. Having never as so much recieved a detention before this was the first sort of real counseling I have ever expirrienced, and I can’t believe how real and raw it was. I litterally decided in the 40 minute session that I want this. I want this bad. I actually want to help people, it’s not going to pay well, in fact to get to exactly where I want to be I’m looking at another two years of school once I get my BA. I cannot even express how incredibly inspired I am at this moment. I think it’s going to be terribly heartbreaking, and I think I’m going to be putting future baby plans on hold for this, but in 40 minutes I found a purpose for my life and I feel like I’m about to combust with the newfound passion I have.

Rather to have a bleeding heart than none at all.

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I’ve found another song to be obsessed with. John Mellencamp – Cherry Bomb
Thats when a smoke was a smoke
And groovin’ was groovin’
and dancin’ meant everything
We were young and we were improvin’
laughin’ laughin’ with our friends
Holding hands meant somethin’ baby
Outside the club cherry bomb
Where our hearts were really thumpin’

Seriously, awesome beat, it just talks about being young and carefree.

In other news, congrats to Bree, my first close friend to graduate from college! Not me though, I into me second week as a senior. It kind of sucks.

The first week started off slow enough. I don’t have class on Monday, and only one class on Tuesday. That class I drove there, he handed out the sylibus, and I drove back. What a waste of gas. Wednesday I don’t have class.

I really don’t mind school, I really don’t. I think in another life I would love this limbo I’m in right now. I would go out to parties and drink my 21st year into a vague blur. I might have pledged a sorority and made some really great friends, or not. I would hit the bar every night I did not have an 8am the next morning (actually, the 8am would just be an inconvenience) And I’d live happily ever after, or at least live 4 years, on grant money, raman noodles, and cheap beer. But I did not choose that life. Or maybe that life did not choose me.

I’ve always been the type of person to want to grow up faster than the speed life is going. I hate that I’m engaged to the most wonderful man in the world and cannot marry him for two more years. That really wears thin on my very little patience. I have no emotional attachments to Slippery Rock like some college grads do for their alma mater. I would be so happy to never step foot on Slippery Rock ground again.

I’ve been in the social work program for 2 years now, and my adviser has been switched four times. four times. That’s so infuriating I can’t even tell you. I haven’t had a one on one meeting with an adviser since I was a sophomore. I have been scheduling blind for two years and am at least a half semester behind where I should be. I will most likely be there another full year unless I can intern next summer, which would be great. I just want to move on. I also, for whatever reason, was talked into double-majoring in social work and criminology. Granted, the criminology B.A. will not take me much, if any, more time to complete along with the b.A. in social work. It’s kind of weird…I’ll have two Bachelor degrees! I’m hoping that will open up some doors, I haven’t really researched what all I can do with a B.A. in crim, but I’m crossing my fingers for some cushy government job. I wish there was a site, like Monster.com that you pop in all your qualifications and search available jobs that way, but I’m not having any luck. Any suggestions?
I am so sick of being at this point in my life. It’s killing me to be at such a different point of my life than Justin is. I want the 9-5 job that frees up my evenings and weekends. I’m sick of class in the morning, work at night, work on the weekends. I feel bad that Justin gave up his nice 9-5 just because my schedule is the exact opposite. He’ll be going back to daylight and I’m happy for him, but miserable I can’t find my own job for that.

I had a great bitchout with Tara the other day. I’m glad I’m not the only one who is getting jerked around, and I’m glad she was feeling the same way I am. I just feel like I’m so alone in this battle for my degree. It’s awful to feel this alone, and the person whose job it is to help you gets changed so much they don’t even know who you are. Who do you turn to then?

Ick. A week from today school starts. I don’t know about other people, but the beginning of the semester always has me all pumped to do well and turn over a new leaf and not skip classes and yadda yadda…then about 3 weeks in I feel like I have high school senior-itis all over again. I think I have been sick with senior-itis since I was a senior. Well, now it’s 2008 and I’m a senior again, although I’m pretty sure I’ll hit super senior status before my college career is over.

I’m also back to being gung-ho again. ha. It is a little easier to be more motivated this semester. I only have class Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday, and my earliest class is on Friday at 11. I can totally deal with that.

I’m hoping to come to the end of my college career by summer of ’09, but even if I have to wrangle fall ’09 I’ll be happy, I would just like my expensive piece of paper please and thank you.